Friday, February 3, 2012

On Fear

 First I thought, I’m not afraid of anything. Then I realized my stomach has been out of order ever since this class started, which triggered fears of cancer. Then I realized my stomach is out of order due to excitement and–yes–fear!
I have wanted to be an illustrator since I was 14, but have never quite been able to get it together. I freeze up! And here I am again, with an illustration project for a friend (after putting illustration aside for 2 years) at the same time I’m taking this ecourse that I’m pinning my hopes on–and I’m freezing up!
So what am I really afraid of here? I am afraid of not being able to express what I came to this earth to do–and at the same time, I’m afraid of expressing it. I’m afraid I won’t get to do it and afraid that I will do it! Weird, huh?
I’m not so much afraid my work will not be accepted by others; I’m afraid it won’t be good enough for me! It won’t come out the way I see it in my head/heart.


  1. oh DEAR! Sounds bad...unsecure? I always give this advice (found on a tea-bag) "If you can't do the best, do your best". It should help, also because, the more you go on, the better you get.

  2. I have found that sometimes, the way you see it, is not the way it is supposed to come out. You have to trust the universe and the plan it has for you - let go of the fear and insecurities - and just do it. At that moment in your life, what you've done is what was meant to be.